Clay Necklace Tutorial

You’re not allowed to make the necklace from this tutorial until you’ve read Valley of the Dolls.


Read it. Then talk to me about it. Please. I’m desperate.

This is mostly because I want someone to talk to about Valley of the Dolls.

No one will talk to me about it. NO ONE.

Up until very recently, I’d assumed it was pornography.

It’s not…but it’s pretty rough for its era, I guess.

Oh, look…I’m caving. I’ll show you how to do this thing I’m sure you could figure out on your own, if you promise to watch the movie adaptation while you follow along.

You promise?

Okay, good.

I promise you’ll be able to manage this little activity even if you’re chock-full of barbiturates!

Let’s get started!

You will need:

  • 1 x stick – for poking
  • 1 x jewellery string thing
  • 2 (or more) x packets of polymer clay
  • Oven (if you’re like me, you’ll have to ask your mum how to use it…)
  • Dolls

Step One

Get your polymer clay out of the packet, and turn it into a shape.


Little cubes will work, whatever tickles your fancy.

If you’re feeling bulk creative, you can mix two colours together. Do what you want. The world is your oyster. Throw caution to the wind. Damn the man!


Little spheres work too.


Smoosh ’em together

Step Two

Get your stick out and jam a hole through your little shapes. Jab it on in, it’s cathartic.


Stab, stab, stab!

NB: I’ve used a chopstick that I whittled down to an appropriate size. A pointy kebab stick is probably a better idea. But, hey, necessity is the mother of invention and … how much fun is knifin’ stuff?

Step Three

Put your little shapes in the oven*.

*Typically ovens are used for food.

If you’re lucky, you’ll find one in your kitchen*.

*Kitchens are places where you prepare food.

This was all news to me. So, I just thought I’d keep you in the loop.

Right, so, chuck ’em in the oven at one hundred and ten degrees for half an hour.

Try not to burn the house down.


Don’t stick your head in.

Step Four

Take a break while your shapes are cooking.

Make sure you’re paying at attention to Valley. There will be quiz at the end*.

*No, there won’t…

Step Five

Make yourself a drink.

Step Six

Take your shapes out of the oven.

They’ll be hot.

I may or may not have found this out the hard way.

If you do accidentally touch a hot thing, my favourite curse words are as follows:

  • Bloody bravado!
  • Fudging chocolate cake mix!
  • Country music star!

Step Seven

String your shapes on your string.

Isn’t it fun that ‘string’ is a verb and a noun?

Just me?

Sure. Whatever.


String them along, just like your gay ex-boyfriend did to you!

Step Eight

Tie a knot in the end of your string.

I reckon you can figure this part out all by yourself.

Step Nine

Hang your new necklace on your door and take a picture for Instagram.





PS: Ask your mum what happened to Sharon Tate.

Spoiler: Murdered by the Manson Family.



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